Weekend

Life after Feb 27th has been really hard. My grandmother's death has really taken a toll on my entire family. I know life must go on, I know that she is in a better place, I know that healing will take its time, and that's ok, but it's still not easy. We woke up early Saturday morning and took the kiddos to the zoo it was the first time since then that I had a good time... I still thought about her but in a good way. I saw her in the beautiful day, in the rays of the sun going through trees and flowers, in the smile of our kids, in my husband (they shared a very special bond), and in me. It was good and I thank God for that.


Here are a few pictures.

Thoughts

Oh how life can change in a matter of seconds. I was certain that 2015 was going to be the year of our family... meaning that our family was finally going to be ALL together, but with the sudden death of my grandmother Its so hard to get together when the most important piece of the puzzle is missing. Each day that passes seems harder to believe she is gone... they say that time heals everything, but right now it just doesn't seem true. My feelings are so conflicted I understand that God's timing is perfect and everything he does it with a purpose for the good of all, but I still can't accept. I ask God to fill my heart with understanding, comfort, and peace. It's amazing how all the memories I have with her pour in like an avalanche. All day I spend remembering the good times with her, the warmth of her smile, the touch of her hands, her SMELL! I can smell her I can feel her and I can hear her..and it breaks my heart to know that its just memories. Don't get me wrong I am thankful for them, thankful they are great ones thankful they are mine and nothing can remove them from me. This post might not make any since, but in the future when my son, or any family read this they know how important she was to us all.

Broken Heart

This will probably be the hardest blog to write and I never thought I would type the words that I am about to. On Friday February 27th at 11:37 pm I got a call from Mexico..it was my cousin Karen telling me that my grandmother Rosa Elia Solis Lopez had passed away. I don't remember much of the couple of minutes after that I just remember running down the hall and throwing the phone. I couldn't believe it. I've always told my aunts and sister that I don't know what I would do if something happened to her. You see my grandmother was more than that, and yes everybody loves their grandmother and losing any loved one is hard, but we were different. My mother had me at 17yrs old and 4 yrs later had my sister Patricia. Because my mom worked and attended school my grandmother and my grandfather raised us... I cant think of a bad moment I had with her believe it or not it was 100% love ALL THE TIME EVERY TIME. She was special and not only where we her granddaughters we were her daughters and she was my soul mate. We had a special bond the type of bond that you know exactly what's going on with each other without any words being spoken. I am blessed and thankful that my grandmother had accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as her personal savior and several years later had baptized at our church. She was the oldest of 10 children and the most  loyal, stubborn, caring, witty, honest, brave, caring of the bunch. There was not 1 thing she wouldn't do for her siblings and to them she was a second mother. She defended what was right and above anything else put God's will first. She was an exemplary human and women of God. She spent her entire life on the go... never stopped never settled  she knew that time was precious and would not waste one second of it. Even with her diabetes and arthritis trying to break her down she would go on as if nothing was wrong with her. When I would call her and asked how she was doing she would say "Como una quinceaneara mija!" Like a fifteen year old! She leaves behind many broken hearts but she also leaves behind strong women that she created, her four daughters. She leaves us with an example of a life that one can only dream off, but by the grace of God we will do her proud. I know that one day we will reunite, but until that time comes I will love and carry her with me for the rest of my life. It's amazing that even after death your love continues to grow for that person.. that it doesn't stop there because they are no longer physically here. It grows. Thank you Wely for being my all for the 31 yrs of my life... life without you will be hard but whatever the future holds I will live to make our Lord proud and make every moment count like you did. I promise to always look after my mom, aunts, brothers, sister, cousins, every family member like you would. I will forever love you and I will forever be grateful. Till we meet again my love..

      
But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-17